(1) He spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said, "concentrate."
(2) He puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to make up his mind.
(3) He gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
(4) He sends a fax with a stamp on it.
(5) He tries to drown a fish.
(6) If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you’d get change.
(7) He trips over a cordless phone.
(8) He takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
(9) At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign here" he put "Sagittarius."
(10) He takes 2 hours to watch "60 minutes".
(11) He invents a solar powered flashlight.
(12) He heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so he moves.
(13) He misses the 14 Bus, and takes the 7 twice instead.
(14) He takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", and he turned around and went home.
(15) He got locked in a furniture shop but sleeps on the floor.