Just for Laughs

On a business trip to India, a black American executive took some time off to play golf. He was playing particularly well when he noticed a group of locals watching him. They were jumping up and down and yelling, "Tiger Woods!"
Taking this as a compliment to his golfing skills, he turned and bowed ostentatiously in their direction.
It was at this point that a tiger came out of the woods and ate him.
(David Dunn)
Tom is sick of city life, so he buys some land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible. He sees the mailman once a week and goes out to buy groceries once a month. Other than that, it’s total peace and quiet.
After six months of solitude, a huge bearded man knocks on his door.
"Hi, I’m chuck, your neighbour from down the road," he says. "I’m having a party on Friday night, and I thought you might like to come."
"Great," says Tom. "I’m ready to meet a few locals."
"I have to warn you," says Chuck. "There will be some drinking."
"Fine by me," says Tom.
"And more than likely some fighting too."
"I think I can handle that," says Tom.
"And there will probably be some wild sex."
"That’s not a problem," says Tom. "I’m quite broad-minded. Now what should I wear?"
"It doesn’t matter — it’s going to be the two of us."
(Regina Lally)
An elderly lady visits her recently deceased husband at the funeral parlour.
"I see he’s wearing a black suit," she tells the undertaker. "His dying wish was to wear a blue suit."
The undertaker says he’ll see what he can do.
The next day, when the woman returns, her husband is wearing a blue suit.
"Where did you get it?" she asks.
"After you left, a man about your husband’s size was brought in," the undertaker says. "He was wearing a blue suit, but his wife wanted him buried in black."
"After that, It was simply a matter of swapping the heads."
(Robert A’cout)
~ Reader’s Digest, April 2006

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