The newsletter from Baby Center (babycenter.com) showed up in my inbox as usual. Though I have visited the website a lot less after Beam started her Summerhillian life in September 2010, the newsletter is still among my reading materials.
However, this time, it started with a peculiar message – ‘Wow, where did the time go?’ – Reading on, and I realized that I’ve reached the end of the age-by-age newsletters and articles… What? Nine? All this while, I’d been mesmerised by the thought of a proper homemade birthday cake and nothing else, and though I knew Beam was eight going on nine, these were just numbers to me. But now, it hit me hard on the head. My precious, my Miss World Baby is turning 9???!!!
Geez. So I’ve come to the stage when numbers don’t really make sense anymore (Sounding so gaga ~)… I recalled how I started blogging on the Chinese website BlogHome which was almost seven years ago. Frankly, I did wonder how long I was able to sustain this then-new-found creative outlet of mine. After all, a diligent stay-at-home mum rarely has time for herself. That explains why so many of the old entries were submitted in the wee hours. My soul searching started only after everyone in the house went into the dreamland.
I’ve never thought about moving to a bigger, major website. The staff at BlogHome has been friendly and responsible enough, and I like my peers there who are warm-hearted and civilised. The other thing is, I’m a pretty laid-back fella and to me, moving blog is as hectic as moving house literally. I’m blogging for myself, and that’s the bottom line. This was particularly true in the early years when I’d been so disturbed by the problematic marriage. The clicking sounds from my keyboard is the best tonic for my soul.
A lot of fellow bloggers have since left, and that’s just life. Keep it in mind: You’ll always meet the same kind of people you are. So, don’t lose yourself. Be yourself. Yes, I think this is exactly what I want for my Miss World Baby, too.
Still can’t believe the numbers before my very eyes…
月初，照例收到了 Baby Center 的新聞報。Baby Center，顧名思義，是一個提供全面性專業育兒知識的美國網站（但現在也有分支了，包括英國和新加坡）；懷孕中期時，由葛洛介紹而得知。只要輸入預產期或者生日，就能收到胎兒每周進展、寶寶身心發展相關的新聞報，並且針對當階段可能發生的疑問作註解，對於新手父母來說，非常的實用。可以說，從懷孕到兩年前為止，一直是我很倚重的；待梅小獸開始了夏山生涯，因為不是主流學校，很多東西都用不上了，也就比較沒那麼常造訪了，但是新聞報仍然是我的主要閱讀材料之一。
這次的新聞報，卻帶了一個很特別的訊息 – ‘Wow, where did the time go?’ – 原來，這份新聞報提供到滿九歲為止。。。九？九歲？？祥九歲了？？？
一直以來，我儘惦念著生日要烤什麼蛋糕，說到這個 eight going on nine，只當成了普通數字，並沒有多想；現在看來，果然有「選擇性失憶」這麼回事，只是這個選擇真的屬於無意識下的產物。
再回過頭來看，從大陸的 BlogHome 開始，也已經是將近七年前的事了。當時，我還有點好奇，不知道自己能維持多久，畢竟，以我這種帶小娃娃的方式，真的很難得挪出時間給自己。所以，以前的文章，很多是在深夜、凌晨完成的 – 當全家人都入睡了，就輪到我灌溉自己的心靈園地了。
我一直都沒什麼出走的念頭，一來 BlogHome 的老師們很認真幫忙解決疑難雜症，二來喜歡此間網友們的溫情、文明表現。還有一點，就是本人生性疏懶（包括買東西也這樣的，只要頭次經驗愉快，通常也不會再光顧別的店家了），部落格搬家？想了就一個頭兩個大，沒那種美國時間；反正，初衷就是為自己留個紀錄，尤其那些年始終飽受婚姻問題的折磨，滴滴答答的敲鍵聲，是我性靈的特效藥。
總之，很開心我的第一次是從 Bloghome 開始的，雖然不少老朋友離開了，是有丁點遺憾，但緣起緣滅沒個定理，生命就這麼回事兒。最重要的是，堅持真誠的一顆心，準沒錯。