Had a dream. In that dream, I made a decision of making a trip back to Taiwan for Dad. Just to spend some time with Dad.
I actually woke up with the happy illusion that I was really going to visit Dad. Not until a few seconds later did I have the epiphany that Dad had left for more than two years.
It’s been more than twelve years. From time to time, I wake up without knowing where I really am. Not always related to the previous dream though. I just lie there for a split second thinking that I’m back in the old apartment at Chung-Yang Street, or the house at Tian-Siang 6th Street where Mum and Brother John still reside in. Until it dawns on me one more time that technically I’m not even Taiwanese any more.
The old apartment is where I buried my childhood and salad days while the house had witnessed my joy and sorrow as an adult.
My psychic friend pointed out, while giving me an aura reading, that I’m still grieving, and that I’m holding a lot of anger towards the marriage.
Truth. All truth. And they’re directly related.
But I thank God for giving me the opportunity to come here where I’m able to ponder over my life.