Have been in quite a good mood, particularly every morning when I first get up, landing my eyes on the breathtaking picture of Darsham by Jason Avery, which stands under the window sill. It never fails to bring a big smile  on my face.

About two weeks ago, I read about this professional photographer in Coastal Scene. I’m very ignorant when it comes to the arts, but I enjoy beautiful pictures —  the type that makes me feel a pounding in my heart at first glance. Unfortunately, school hasn’t started yet, meaning I’m not able to attend the exhibitions he’s having in the neighbouring towns. Nevertheless, always good to support local artists. So I logged on and visited his website http://www.jaysargo.com/

Loved what I saw, especially the ones at Gallery E. I fell immediately for the beautiful simplicity conveyed by the compositions which enables you  to focus on the purity and clarity in life. Feeling so connected to it, I happily shared the link with Shania, one of those whom I regard as family in Singapore.

‘Very pretty. But very cold… Has it got something to do with your recent emotions?’ wondered Shania.

Frankly, it didn’t come across as being ‘cold’ to me at all though I’ve been disturbed by something. I thought it looked very dreamy, in a fantasy or fairy tale way.

After much consideration, I decided that this would be the birthday gift for myself. So I emailed Mr Avery to see if a cash payment would be possible. I do have a PayPal account, but, to tell the truth, with mine being a sub-card, I just don’t want to be hassled by the  main card holder. He once proclaimed, ‘I’ve got money. I AM THE KING!’

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve never taken anything for granted and I’m forever grateful for what he has provided for us. All I’m asking for is simply some basic respect. Throughout the years, whenever we spent money, it would have to be something that was in favour with him, even if Beam or I was the one who needed it or used it, not him.

I recall one incident happened while we were living in Hong Kong. That day, I made purchase of  a few DHC cosmetic products. They were all basic cosmetics and nothing fancy. But because I rarely spent this kind of money, I apologised to him, saying that I would pay him back later.

He stared at me furiously, ‘Fuck you!!!’

This kind of sorry episodes only started to cease after Beam and I moved to England.

I digressed.

Anyway, much to my delight, Mr Avery offered to deliver the items in person and I could make a cash payment then.

He brought along some other pictures for me to see and feel. We looked at the pictures for 30 minutes and then chitchatted over tea for another 1½ hours. Such an inspirational young man to talk to. He’s probably the only person I’ve met that actually switches off the power completely when not in use, just like me. Sometimes, people even laugh at this little eco-habit of mine.  Moreover, we  both started to ‘live’ again and find ourselves in Suffolk.

After he left, I decided to place one of the pictures under my bedroom window sill. It came as a very pleasant surprise that the colour coordination works well with my yoga mat which is forever on my bedroom floor. It’s meant to be!

This picture in fact reminds me of a picture I used to have on my wall back in the old apartment at Chung Yang Street (Taiwan). That was before I started to fall for 80s’ J-pop and cover the walls with all the posters of J-pop idols. It was a lush green trail embellished with blooming flowers in a high mountain on a clear day.

‘So beautiful!’ I exclaimed.

Dad nodded, ‘It is. But… melancholy.’

I can still recall the way he gazed at the picture at that moment. I was too young to understand.

Years later, when I visited his hometown in the high, high mountain (Yunnan Province, China — next to Vietnam, Myanmar and Tibet) with him and Mum, looking at the surroundings, I then realised that all these looked almost the same as that picture on my wall. Dad was forced to leave home when he was only 9 because of the civil war. He used to tell me how he, for years, had had the same dream — in the dream, he was back there, right in front of the house where he was born and had a life until he was 9, but he was too afraid that his different political stand would get his family in trouble, so he just hid behind the big tree in front of the house and kept peeping at the gate, hoping that someone would come out eventually.

It’s kind of funny to think how we’re both immigrants who left everything behind though obviously under different circumstances.

Well, happy as can be every time I pass by these two beautiful pictures. Feels good to be my own person. Happy birthday to me in advance ^_^

這幾天早晨起床,瞥見窗台下的攝影作品,都特別開心。那是我上周五向本地攝影師 Jason Avery 買的其中一幅作品,拍攝地點是 Darsham,離 Leiston 不遠。

兩個星期前,在 Coastal Scene 讀到了這位新進的專業攝影師,目前正在巡迴展覽。老娘向來是個跟藝術沾不上邊的傢伙(無知嘛,哈哈~),但是,綺旎的風景,總能令我怦然心動!可惜的是,祥還沒開學,我也沒辦法去看展覽。不過,本地藝術家是一定要支持的,所以,拜訪了他的網站。

感覺很好,簡簡單單,讓人體悟生命所能擁有的純與真。其中,Gallery E 最得我心。

小菜問,很美,不過是不是跟心境有關?感覺冷冷的。不問我還沒注意到 — 的確,多看幾眼,似乎有點蒼涼 — 雖然我近日的確有些煩心的事;但,我其實是覺得很夢幻,甚至有點童話故事的意味。

太 喜歡了,於是發了伊媚兒,想知道能不能現金交易。我可以試著用 PayPal,但是呢,我一點都不想聽主卡持有人的連篇廢話,而且,用自己點滴攢下來的私房錢,心裡踏實多了。這個家裡,依他說的,有錢就是統治者,有 錢=賺錢的人。我不是個沒良心、不知感恩的傢伙,我只是希望自己能受到尊重。這麼多年來,花錢一定得依著他的好惡,即便真正使用的人是我或祥祥。

住香港的時候,一天,我刷卡買了幾件 DHC 的保養品,雖然都是日常用品,可是因為很少這麼花錢,我跟他說,真不好意思,我會把錢還給你。他惡狠狠地瞪著我:「Fuck you!!!」

與此類似的場面,一直到我和祥開始了在英國的生活,相隔重洋,才漸漸少了。

跑題了。

回信上說可以親自送貨,這樣就能付現了,反正他住的地方離這裡十五分鐘的路程而已。太好了!

當 天,他帶了好些作品來展示,我們欣賞了半個小時,之後喝茶聊天了一個半小時。很可愛的一個人,像他的作品一樣,滿率真的。而且,很開心,我們在環保方面頗 為有志一同,他大概是第一個我所遇到跟我一樣,只要不用就會徹底關閉電源的。另一點雷同,就是我們都在 Suffolk 重新體悟了生命,找回自己。

他離開後,我把其中一幅作品拿到臥室,驚喜地發現,竟然跟我的瑜珈墊同色調!這不是天意是什麼?哈~

這 兩幅作品,讓我回想起,小時候在中央街老公寓的臥室,在我開始瘋狂迷上日本偶像之前,牆壁上貼了幾張很美的風景照。印象很深刻,其中有一張,是晴空萬里下 蔥綠的山徑點綴著鮮豔的花叢;我跟爸爸說,好漂亮喔!爸爸點點頭說,真的很漂亮,不過有點蒼涼。。。當時年紀小不懂,現在想想,其實那張照片,很像我在雲 南山上老家所見到的景色。開放探親,是多年之後的事,所以,也許,那真的反應了爸爸當時對於家鄉的心境。

人生的際遇真是很難說,想想,我們父女都是遠離原鄉的移民,雖然各自有著不同的理由。

總之,這些天,只要經過這兩張作品,心裡都暖暖的,那種能夠作自己主人的快樂,難以言喻。