Online / Offline 網上 / 網下

“I’ll never allow my online persona to get mixed up with who I am in reality. So, no way would I meet up with any of them.”

Five years on, yet I can still recall the aggressive tone in her voice when she said these words. That was when I first realised how internet addiction can totally destroy a person (with the benefit of hindsight of course).

Though she’d been acting so warm and welcoming when the fellow bloggers excitedly talked about the possibility of having a “real” gathering, that was what she said to me. She then went on criticising some of them, who are our mutual (online) friends. She even bashed a lady who happened to blog about the same topic as I did, calling her a shameless copycat. I obviously annoyed her to hell when I tried to disagree.

Creating an online persona can be a good creative outlet and I’m sure everyone can be perceived somewhat different from the person in reality anyway. But, if you don’t like a person, for whatever reason, just stay away, whether it’s online or in reality. Live and let live. Simple as that. Why do you have to pretend to be their friends but behave so differently behind their back? When she told me about how she was just “doing them a favour” by visiting their blogs and leaving comments, I couldn’t believe my ears. What had happened to the lovely girl I used to know?

When you tell a lie, surely you’ll need one more lie to cover the first one, then one more, one more, and many, many more… How exhausting is that? (So you see, it’s not always bad being too laid-back and not brainy enough like me. My life is certainly way much simpler — in a very pleasant way most of the time, haha~) What’s more, as Abraham Lincoln put it ever so wisely: “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”

In short, as Peter Parker’s Aunt May says, “Secret has a cost. They are not for free.”

It inevitably came to the point where they turned out to be more and more manipulative and I finally decided to back away. It’s never right if I have to put myself down so as to maintain a relationship. The intriguing part is these people assume (either this or they simply make it up to suit their purpose) you’re just jealous of them if you dare to voice yourself. It’s illogic to me —  A truly happy person would never live a life filled with lies. What’s there to be jealous of?

To be truthful, I did feel sad about letting go because for me, friends are for life. But I’ve learnt that it’s fine to acknowledge that we can outgrow our friends. After all, my choice of friends says something about how I view and define myself and the world.

People are always surprised to see how frank I am about my life, warts and all, particularly online. Well, honesty makes my life so much simpler and easier. So what’s wrong with that?


人比人氣死人 玩臉書好鬱卒

中央社 – 2013211 下午12:34




柏林洪堡大學(Humboldt University)資訊系統研究所研究人員克拉斯諾娃(Hanna Krasnova)說:「許多人瀏覽臉書時產生嫉妒情緒,因而感到孤單、沮喪或憤怒等負面經驗,而且人數多到讓我們驚訝。」


洪堡大學和達姆斯塔(Darmstadt)科技大學(Technical University)發現,度假照片最容易讓瀏覽者恨得牙癢癢,約一半以上的臉書使用者會嫉妒朋友發表在臉書上的度假情景。







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