“I’ll never allow my online persona to get mixed up with who I am in reality. So, no way would I meet up with any of them.”

Five years on, yet I can still recall the aggressive tone in her voice when she said these words. That was when I first realised how internet addiction can totally destroy a person (with the benefit of hindsight of course).

Though she’d been acting so warm and welcoming when the fellow bloggers excitedly talked about the possibility of having a “real” gathering, that was what she said to me. She then went on criticising some of them, who are our mutual (online) friends. She even bashed a lady who happened to blog about the same topic as I did, calling her a shameless copycat. I obviously annoyed her to hell when I tried to disagree.

Creating an online persona can be a good creative outlet and I’m sure everyone can be perceived somewhat different from the person in reality anyway. But, if you don’t like a person, for whatever reason, just stay away, whether it’s online or in reality. Live and let live. Simple as that. Why do you have to pretend to be their friends but behave so differently behind their back? When she told me about how she was just “doing them a favour” by visiting their blogs and leaving comments, I couldn’t believe my ears. What had happened to the lovely girl I used to know?

When you tell a lie, surely you’ll need one more lie to cover the first one, then one more, one more, and many, many more… How exhausting is that? (So you see, it’s not always bad being too laid-back and not brainy enough like me. My life is certainly way much simpler — in a very pleasant way most of the time, haha~) What’s more, as Abraham Lincoln put it ever so wisely: “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”

In short, as Peter Parker’s Aunt May says, “Secret has a cost. They are not for free.”

It inevitably came to the point where they turned out to be more and more manipulative and I finally decided to back away. It’s never right if I have to put myself down so as to maintain a relationship. The intriguing part is these people assume (either this or they simply make it up to suit their purpose) you’re just jealous of them if you dare to voice yourself. It’s illogic to me —  A truly happy person would never live a life filled with lies. What’s there to be jealous of?

To be truthful, I did feel sad about letting go because for me, friends are for life. But I’ve learnt that it’s fine to acknowledge that we can outgrow our friends. After all, my choice of friends says something about how I view and define myself and the world.

People are always surprised to see how frank I am about my life, warts and all, particularly online. Well, honesty makes my life so much simpler and easier. So what’s wrong with that?

Insanity

人比人氣死人 玩臉書好鬱卒

中央社 – 2013211 下午12:34

(中央社台北11日電)社群網站真的拉近人與人間的距離嗎?研究發現,默默看著臉書上的朋友遊山玩水、跟另一半耍甜蜜或是叱吒職場,可能會讓自己感到悲哀和孤單。

德國兩所大學的聯合研究發現,臉書使用者嫉妒心蔓延,使擁有10億以上使用者的全球最大社群網站臉書,也成了前所未有的較勁舞台。

研究人員發現,1/3的人瀏覽臉書後,更不滿意自己的生活,而且只看而不發文的「潛水」使用者所受影響最大。

柏林洪堡大學(Humboldt University)資訊系統研究所研究人員克拉斯諾娃(Hanna Krasnova)說:「許多人瀏覽臉書時產生嫉妒情緒,因而感到孤單、沮喪或憤怒等負面經驗,而且人數多到讓我們驚訝。」

克拉斯諾娃說:「就我們的觀察,部分人會因為這樣停用臉書,或至少減少上臉書的頻率。」

洪堡大學和達姆斯塔(Darmstadt)科技大學(Technical University)發現,度假照片最容易讓瀏覽者恨得牙癢癢,約一半以上的臉書使用者會嫉妒朋友發表在臉書上的度假情景。

社會互動則是引發嫉妒的第2大原因。使用者會比較自己和朋友誰的生日祝福多,以及自己發表的照片或文章得到多少「讚」和回應。

研究人員在名為「臉書上的嫉妒心:生活滿意度的隱密威脅」報告說:「被動的查看臉書會引發令人不快的情緒,使用者主要會嫉妒他人擁有的幸福,以及度假和社交生活。」

報告說:「社群網站上的嫉妒不斷蔓延且無所不在,降低使用者的生活滿意度。」

報告發現,35歲左右的使用者最傾向嫉妒他人的家庭幸福,女性朋友則較可能嫉妒別人的外在吸引力。

這些嫉妒感會讓部分使用者進一步誇耀自己的成就,或呈現自己更好的一面。報告顯示,男性朋友傾向在臉書上吹噓自己的成就,女性則樂於展現自己的美貌和社交生活。

研究人員在兩份研究中共訪問600人,並據此發表研究結果。這份結果2月在德國的資訊系統會議上發表。(譯者:中央社張詠晴)