Happy? Bother?!

How we perceive the world is determined by our way of thinking and life experience.
How we perceive the world is determined by our way of thinking and life experience.

It never occurred to me that people actually do get annoyed by happy posts.

On the way home from school, with her tiny paw in my hand, I ask Beam, ‘Do you find it annoying to see someone posting happy messages online, say, Facebook, every day?’

She tilts her head with a thoughtful look on her innocent face, ‘Mm… maybe a teeny bit.’

Surprised, I enquire furthrer, ‘Why?? Why would someone’s happiness bother you?’

‘Well, I don’t know’, she shrugs.

I can’t believe it. I mean, being happy is a good thing, isn’t it? If someone I know is feeling happy, it sure brightens up my day as well. What’s wrong with being happy and not hiding it?

I’ve been pondering over this matter since having had the conversation with some girlfriends, which inspired this little dialogue of ours. One is quite against the use of social media. If I got it right, it’s all about being a show-off to her, and also like cheating, ‘How can you be happy all the time seriously?!’ she argues.

But, why can’t one be happy all the time? Just because some people don’t choose to be happy (for whatever reason) doesn’t mean we have to diminish our joy. And how do we know if that person’s truly happy or just faking it unless we get to know every detail of what’s going on in his/her life? Even so, we’re NOT that person, hence different perception and feelings. And, so what if he/she’s faking it long as no one else’s harmed? What’s more, why shouldn’t you show your true emotions? Wouldn’t it be just another form of repression and cheating?

She tells of a married friend of hers, who’s into cyber sex, as an example. Her friend’s reason being that he’s not able to do it (PS. I don’t know what this ‘it’ stands for. ) in reality because of his wife. I guess this belongs to a different category. And truthfully, we never know what happens behind the closed door.

One intriguing factor to me is, of all people and all things, that happy posts (whether genuine or fake) are her focus, not the hate preaching nor the plain negative notes. It really baffles me. Surely they cause more harm, don’t they? On the other hand, I don’t think that fake happiness is the norm really. Like in reality, you’ll find most of the time, people are nice and genuine if you yourself care to reach out sincerely.

I recall a friend once revealed to me how she chooses to post happy stuff and just hides those not-so-happy chapters. Not that she’s trying to be someone she’s not. She just doesn’t feel like sharing them with everybody. I think we all do that one way or another, whether online or offline, and the way I see it — there’s nothing wrong with how you choose to tell your life story.  Who are we to judge?

Back to the little dialogue with Beam.

‘Do you find my posts annoying then?’ I just gotta toss this question… now that I know I obviously belong to the ‘annoying’ lot.

‘Nope!’ she looks up at me, this word from her sounds seemingly earnest, ‘I know you well.’

‘Ah…’, I think for a few seconds, trying to figure out what she’s referring to, ‘because… I’m not cheating, you mean?’

‘Yup’, she nodded, responding in her carefree tone as usual.

True. Throughout the years, we’ve witnessed some people whose online persona can be very different from how they are in reality. But as I’ve said in my previous post Online / Offline , it doesn’t really bother me long as they don’t drag others down by distorting facts to make themselves look good. It just isn’t my thing, but, they’re free to do what they want. Period.

I think it all boils down to our true character. After all, the way we perceive the world is largely influenced by our very own way of thinking and life experience. This is how we define the world around us.

I myself am quite trusting (some call it ‘gullible’ but heck care) and happy, rarely do I suspect others’ ‘happy life’ as I know happiness is an attitude seriously. I never have to compare or compete with anyone or anything else, which, is true freedom to me.

So! Don’t worry. Be happy. And, it doesn’t bother me at all, honest!!

5 thoughts on “Happy? Bother?!

  1. I can understand why people are bothered by the happiness of others. For me, it’s about the fact that I’m prone to make comparisons between myself and others, with me always on the losing side. Plus, I feel that when using Facebook people don’t portray themselves accurately — they’re more likely to post positive things, which, ok, is completely understandable because not everybody who is a ‘friend’ on Facebook is the kind of person who needs to know one’s deepest thoughts and feelings.

    Anyway, what I want to say is that you have a good point in saying that just because people stress the positive/happy side of things with their online personas, that doesn’t necessarily make them disingenuous or insincere.

    1. Thanks for taking your time reading and commenting ^_^
      Well, I used to make comparisons all the time (A typical Libran – forever weighing…) and realised it didn’t do me any good as it affected my mood. Then, I witnessed a few people who were close to me became trainwreck due to their ‘competitiveness’ which served as a wake-up call. So I stopped. And I can tell you this is definitely one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself.
      But can I ask you something? If you feel that people don’t always portray themselves accurately, why would you bother to make comparisons then? Doesn’t seem to make much sense to me ^_*

      1. Hmm, I guess I never thought about it critically. Haha, I guess not all reasoning is rational when it comes to self-criticism.

      2. Can I suggest you to stop self-criticism? You’re so capable and talented. I mean, learning a foreign language is one thing, but translation is really something, particularly when it comes to poetry… I myself am a language teacher cum translator, but I can’t do poetry. YOU ARE GOOD ❤

      3. True, self-criticism isn’t very productive, so I suppose I don’t stand to lose anything by giving confidence and a more positive outlook a chance.

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